Ongoing Counseling
Now that you have met with a therapist and established a connection, the real work begins. Just as with any new endeavor, such as starting a workout routine or a remodeling project, your motivation might start to decrease in this middle stage of treatment. However, slow and steady wins the race of life, and your progress will likely go unnoticed in the first 4-6 weeks. In fact, friends or coworkers may point out changes in your life, drawing awareness to your progress before you identify it yourself. Someone might note that you remained calmer during an argument or asked for help before reaching your breaking point. An improved ability to express your feelings and concerns benefits you, as well as others.
Sometimes family members can be leery of an individual building an ongoing relationship with a counselor. For example, parents may worry what their child will share within a session and that they will be required to make changes in the home. A spouse may fear that he will be made out to be the “bad guy” in the relationship and will feel threatened by your new desire to draw healthy boundaries. If others challenge your new sense of self, please know that your treatment plan takes this growth process into consideration, and the counselor strives to teach tools to help with mood regulation and teach self-affirming statements. After a month or so, you may realize that you are handling stressors more effectively, experiencing a greater sense of joy, or simply being more mindful of your emotions.
Follow the Process
As you gain new skills and can apply them in real-life situations, you will begin to experience improved confidence and stamina for dealing with hardships. Just as a new workout program creates sore muscles and necessitates rest for recovery, building your emotional intelligence requires time, energy, and restoration. While you may be tempted to give up, we encourage you to persevere and report any new developments when you come to your sessions. Maintaining a personal journal may prove beneficial in noting setbacks and successes.
After two to three months of therapy, if you have met with your counselor on a weekly basis, appointments may be shifted to every other week, or on a monthly basis, depending on your needs and preferences. Some individuals prefer to remain on a weekly or biweekly schedule indefinitely, and we encourage collaboration for what allows you to feel seen, heard, and understood by your therapist.
Likewise, you are encouraged to continue to meet with your PCP or psychiatrist if you are on any form of medication therapy for mood regulation. While we do not prescribe these medications, talk therapy can improve your mood, and medication dosages may need to be modified over time. It is also important to note that recalling disturbing memories may be unsettling, especially if you have experienced, or are currently experiencing, trauma. Your counselor will allow you to work at your own pace, and minor setbacks should not be alarming. Instead, try to remember that “flexing” your new emotional regulation muscles will require patience, and recovery usually becomes faster after proper training and maintenance.
Attendance Matters
In this middle stage, we do ask that you keep your scheduled appointments to the best of your ability. We do understand that emergencies occur, and it is appreciated if you call at least 24 hours ahead to cancel or reschedule appointments. Please ask about our cancelation policy if you are unsure of billing practices in this regard. If you find that you need a pause in treatment, please discuss this with your therapist so that a plan can be put into place. If insurance issues or financial setbacks become problematic, our front desk staff may be able to provide additional assistance and resources. At White Oak, we believe that open and clear communication is the best policy, and we value your honest feedback. If you prefer, you are welcome to contact us by email, and a response will be given in a timely fashion.
We Care
On a personal note, please be assured that your counselor has your best interests at heart. We are trained to treat you in a manner that is ethical, professional, and empathetic. At the same time, if we identify areas where confrontation is needed, we may gently ask a question such as, “How is that working for you?” Particularly if you have close friends with whom you can confide, you may have fallen into the habit of sharing your concerns without ever considering how your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs may be contributing to negative patterns of behavior.
On the other hand, you may find comfort in finally being able to be open and honest with struggles or memories that you have never shared with another person. No matter what situation you are facing, we are here to support and encourage you. You are not “too much.” You are YOU—a unique individual, who is worthy of love and respect. Stay the course and keep climbing the steps. You will soon be able to look back and enjoy increased stamina and endurance through this marathon that we call…Life.
This is the third article of a four-part series. If you missed the first two articles in this series, you can read them at the links below:
Brenda Gonyou
