In my heart there rings a melody…

Do you remember the old game show, “Name that Tune?” Contestants competed to identify and name songs based on hearing their opening notes. You may inadvertently play this game in the car and find yourself singing the lyrics to a tune that has not yet fully begun to play.

Our emotions can be a lot like a game of “Name that Tune.” Has this ever happened to you?  You see the sign for your favorite restaurant, and suddenly your car begins to pull through the drive-through, and you find yourself ordering a burger and fries (or a large shake), even though you just had lunch. Or, your partner may comment on that certain tone that you are sure is meant to annoy you, and an argument starts for no apparent reason. For some, it may mean driving to the mall or the grocery store and arriving at their car, only to discover that they bought things that were not only unnecessary, but not even desirable after they were purchased.

When we fall into patterns of behavior to distract ourselves–such as playing games on our phones, making random purchases, overeating, or overworking–symptoms of depression often set in. By negating that we are feeling “a certain kind of way,” we relieve ourselves of the responsibility of becoming self-aware and allowing ourselves to reflect upon the notion that there may be a greater void that we may be trying to fill with things that will never truly satisfy our souls.

Humans were created to be social creatures and to be connected face-to-face, not device to device. Although technology can be beneficial to bring people together, it can also divide, separate, and isolate us from one another. Living in a virtual world can also limit us from the rich experiences of touching, smelling, and feeling the world with all five of our senses.

Live music is another experience that can bring people together, whether it is in a place of worship, a concert, an improv street corner performance, or a karaoke night with friends. There is a universality to music that does not exist within the spoken language. If you are looking to reconnect with others, it may be meaningful to seek out a venue that plays a style of music that you prefer.

If you are not able to attend a live musical event, is there a song that can transport you back in time and bring back memories of a specific moment of your life? Perhaps it is an upbeat song that you played on repeat after a difficult experience. Maybe there is a song that reminds you of a loved one and brings comfort on dark days. And who hasn’t played their favorite “break-up” song after the end of a bad relationship?

The theme of music can be an ice-breaker in your next conversation with a person, either online or in person. Although your friend may not remember the game, “Name that Tune,” they are likely to be able to recall a song that has spoken meaning into their life.

The opening to the conversation goes something like this. “Hey, I have had a really hard day, and I have been playing “Desperate” by Jamie MacDonald.” “Is there a song that helps you to get out of a bad mood?”

Engaging in meaningful conversations with others helps to ward off feelings of isolation, and listening to upbeat music is proven to boost a person’s mood. By combining these two elements, you may find a greater joy and a deeper sense of connection to others. In addition, simply reflecting on song lyrics can allow us to express ourselves on a deeper level when we are not able to do so on our own. If you are looking for a way to use your time in a way that fosters self-expression, consider listening to music and sharing it with others. Music, like any other form of entertainment, can also be used as an escape; however, it is generally a beneficial way to address issues related to our mind, body, and spirit.

Music Therapy

If you are not sure where to start in your counseling journey, or if you have become stuck at a plateau in your progress during therapy, incorporating music into a session may allow for greater depth and emotional insight that is both creative and pleasurable. If you are interested in music therapy, several options are available to allow for this form of personal expression, and I would be happy to work with you to meet your unique goals and preferences. This may include lyric and/or musical exploration either during or in between counseling sessions, as well as creative writing prompts that will allow you to express your emotions better.

Even if you can’t “Name that Tune,” identifying and naming your emotions can be a powerful experience that promotes growth and greater self-awareness. What song do you want your life to sing today?

Brenda Gonyou MA, LLPC