Bullying in Children and Teens: What Parents Need to Know
Bullying in children and teens can affect far more than the moment when an unkind comment is made, a rumor is spread, or someone is excluded. Repeated bullying can affect how children and teenagers feel about themselves, how safe they feel at school, their friendships, their academic performance, and their emotional well-being.
Today, bullying also extends beyond the classroom, playground, or school bus. Phones, social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, and other online spaces can allow bullying to follow a young person home.
For parents, it is not always easy to know whether a child is dealing with ordinary peer conflict, bullying, or something happening online that they are afraid to discuss. Knowing what to watch for can make it easier to start a conversation and get help early.
It is a good opportunity for parents to talk with children and teens about friendships, school experiences, online behavior, and what they can do when they or someone else is being treated unfairly.
Table of Contents
- What Is Bullying?
- Cyberbullying Can Follow Children Home
- Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Bullying
- Some Children May Face Additional Risk
- What Should Parents Do When a Child Is Being Bullied?
- Working With Your Child’s School
- Helping Children Build a Support System
- When Counseling Can Help With Bullying in Children and Teens
- Michigan and National Bullying Resources
- October 2026 Bullying Prevention Events for Michigan Families
- Frequently Asked Questions About Bullying
- Help Your Child Know They Can Talk to You
What Is Bullying?
Not every disagreement, argument, teasing incident, or hurtful interaction is bullying. Children and teenagers sometimes have conflicts, make poor choices, or say things they later regret.
Bullying generally involves unwanted aggressive behavior, a real or perceived imbalance of power, and behavior that is repeated or has the potential to be repeated. The imbalance of power does not have to involve physical strength. Popularity, social influence, embarrassing information, age, status within a group, or access to an online audience can all create an imbalance.
Bullying may be:
Name-calling, insults, threats, cruel teasing, or humiliating comments.
Spreading rumors, intentionally excluding someone, embarrassing them, or trying to damage friendships or reputation.
Hitting, pushing, damaging possessions, taking belongings, or other unwanted physical behavior.
Using digital communication to repeatedly embarrass, threaten, harass, exclude, or harm another person.
Understanding the difference between bullying and ordinary conflict matters because the response may be different. At the same time, behavior does not have to meet the formal definition of bullying before parents take it seriously.
StopBullying.gov explains the definition and different forms of bullying.
Cyberbullying Can Follow Children Home
Previous generations could often leave difficult peer interactions behind when the school day ended. For today’s children and teenagers, that separation may not exist.
Cyberbullying can happen through social media, text and direct messages, group chats, online gaming, forums, email, and other digital platforms. Hurtful material can also be shared quickly with a much larger audience. In some cases, a young person may not even know who originally created or posted it.
Parents may notice changes connected specifically to technology, including:
- A sudden increase or decrease in phone or device use
- Becoming upset, anxious, angry, or withdrawn after receiving messages
- Quickly hiding a screen when someone approaches
- Deleting social media accounts or unexpectedly creating new ones
- Avoiding friends or social situations they previously enjoyed
- Refusing to discuss what is happening online
Rather than beginning with punishment or immediately taking the device away, try to find out what is happening first. A child who believes reporting cyberbullying will automatically result in losing access to friends or technology may become less willing to tell a parent the next time something happens.
When cyberbullying occurs, save messages, screenshots, usernames, dates, and other relevant information when possible. Depending on the situation, parents may also need to report content to the platform and contact the school.
StopBullying.gov provides additional guidance for parents about cyberbullying and digital safety.
Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Bullying
Children do not always tell their parents when they are being bullied. Some are embarrassed. Others worry that adults will make the situation worse, that classmates will retaliate, or that they will be considered weak or a “tattletale.”
Instead of waiting for a child to use the word bullying, watch for changes in their usual behavior.
Emotional and Social Changes
- Increased anxiety or irritability
- Withdrawal from friends or family
- Loss of confidence or lower self-esteem
- Sudden changes in friendships
- Avoiding social activities
- Appearing unusually sad, worried, or angry
School and Physical Changes
- Suddenly not wanting to attend school
- Declining grades or interest in schoolwork
- Frequent headaches or stomachaches
- Changes in eating or sleeping
- Unexplained injuries
- Lost, damaged, or missing belongings
No single sign proves that bullying is happening. These changes can have many causes. They are signals that it may be time to ask more questions and find out what is going on.
Some Children May Face Additional Risk
Children and youth with physical, developmental, emotional, behavioral, or health-related differences may face additional risk of being targeted by peers. The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services encourages families of children and youth with special health care needs to watch for changes in school participation, mood, physical complaints, friendships, sleep, eating, and online habits.
Children with ADHD, autism, developmental differences, learning challenges, chronic health concerns, or other disabilities may also have difficulty interpreting peer interactions or knowing how to respond when something is wrong.
Parents can help by keeping communication open, getting to know the child’s school support system, and making sure the child knows which adults are safe people to approach.
What Should Parents Do When a Child Is Being Bullied?
Your first reaction matters. Even when you are angry or frightened by what your child tells you, try to listen before jumping immediately into action.
- Listen carefully. Give your child time to explain what has happened without repeatedly interrupting or questioning them.
- Take the concern seriously. Avoid dismissing the experience as normal teasing or telling the child simply to ignore it.
- Ask questions. Find out who was involved, what happened, where it occurred, how often it has happened, and whether other students or adults saw it.
- Document what is happening. Keep notes about incidents and save digital evidence when cyberbullying is involved.
- Make a plan together. Talk about which trusted adults the child can approach, where they feel safest at school, and what they can do if another incident occurs.
- Contact the school when appropriate. Share specific information and ask how the school’s bullying policy and reporting procedures work.
- Continue checking in. A single conversation may not be enough. Children need to know the door remains open.
The Michigan OK2SAY program also advises parents to talk openly with children, develop a plan together, watch for withdrawal and school avoidance, and seek professional help when bullying is affecting a child’s emotional health.
Working With Your Child’s School
Michigan schools are required to have an anti-bullying policy under Michigan law. Parents can ask the school for a copy of its policy, find out how reports should be made, and ask who is responsible for investigating bullying concerns.
When speaking with the school, it can help to focus on specific behavior rather than only saying, “My child is being bullied.” Dates, locations, screenshots, witnesses, changes in school attendance, and descriptions of what occurred can help school staff understand the situation.
The goal is not simply to determine who should be punished. The larger goal is to create a safer environment, stop the behavior, and help the child feel able to participate in school again.
Helping Children Build a Support System
Healthy peer relationships can make a meaningful difference. The Michigan Family Connections Bullying Prevention Special Edition highlights peer support programs as one way schools can build greater inclusion and connection, particularly for students with disabilities or other special needs.
Parents can also encourage children to develop relationships through activities that fit their interests, such as sports, church groups, clubs, music, art, volunteering, or other supervised activities.
This does not mean that a child is responsible for preventing someone else from bullying them. Instead, supportive relationships can give children additional people to turn to and remind them that one hurtful peer or group does not define their value.
When Counseling Can Help With Bullying in Children and Teens
Stopping the bullying is important, but sometimes the emotional effects continue even after the immediate situation has changed.
A child or teenager may begin believing the negative things that have been said about them. They may become anxious about school, lose confidence, withdraw socially, have trouble sleeping, become unusually angry, or begin expecting rejection in new relationships.
Counseling can give children and teens a safe place to talk about what happened without worrying about upsetting their parents or creating more problems at school. Therapy can also help them develop coping skills, rebuild confidence, work through anxiety or painful experiences, strengthen communication, and learn healthier ways to respond to difficult social situations.
Your Child Does Not Have to Work Through Bullying Alone
If bullying has begun affecting your child’s mood, confidence, friendships, sleep, school attendance, or daily life, counseling may be an important next step.
White Oak Counseling & Recovery provides counseling for children, teenagers, and families in Middleville and surrounding West Michigan communities, as well as telehealth counseling throughout Michigan.
Our counselors can help children and teens process painful experiences, manage anxiety and stress, strengthen coping skills, rebuild self-confidence, and develop healthier ways to navigate relationships.
Our approach is professional and trauma-informed. Counseling from a Christian worldview is also available for families who would like faith to be part of the counseling process.
Child Counseling | Teen Counseling | Family Counseling
Call White Oak Counseling & Recovery at 269-205-2402 to ask questions or schedule an appointment.
Michigan and National Bullying Resources
Families do not have to figure out bullying concerns on their own. These resources provide additional information and practical help:
- OK2SAY: Michigan’s confidential student safety program allows students, parents, and others to report potential harm or threatening behavior involving students, school employees, or schools. Visit Michigan.gov/OK2SAY, call 855-565-2729, or text 652729.
- PACER Student Action Plan Against Bullying: A free tool that helps a young person think through a bullying situation and identify possible actions. It can be completed independently or with a trusted adult. View the Student Action Plan.
- StopBullying.gov: Federal information for parents, students, schools, and communities about bullying and cyberbullying. Visit StopBullying.gov.
October 2026 Bullying Prevention Events for Michigan Families
The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services Family Center for Children and Youth with Special Health Care Needs is offering three online learning opportunities during Bullying Prevention Month.
October 8, 2026 | 9:00–10:00 a.m.
The Power of Peer Support
A discussion of how peer-to-peer programs can help create inclusive school communities and support positive outcomes.
Register for The Power of Peer Support
October 13, 2026 | 11:00 a.m.–12:00 p.m.
Understanding Michigan’s Anti-Bullying Law: What Families Need to Know
Michigan Department of Education School Safety Consultant Mary Teachout will discuss Michigan’s anti-bullying law, family rights, available help, and working with schools when bullying occurs.
Register for Understanding Michigan’s Anti-Bullying Law
October 22, 2026 | 10:00–11:00 a.m.
OK2SAY: Michigan’s Student Safety Program
An overview of Michigan’s confidential student safety program and how students and families can report bullying and other safety concerns.
Register for the OK2SAY webinar
Event information is based on the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services Fall 2026 Bullying Prevention Special Edition. Families should confirm event details when registering.
Frequently Asked Questions About Bullying
Help Your Child Know They Can Talk to You
Parents cannot prevent every painful interaction their children will experience. But they can create a home where children know that difficult experiences can be talked about, taken seriously, and handled together.
Ask about friendships. Pay attention to changes. Stay interested in what happens online as well as at school. Make sure your child knows who the trusted adults are in their life.
And when bullying begins affecting emotional health, confidence, relationships, or everyday functioning, consider bringing in additional support.
If your child or teenager is struggling after bullying, contact White Oak Counseling & Recovery at 269-205-2402. We provide in-person counseling in Middleville and telehealth counseling throughout Michigan.
Immediate safety: If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. If a child or teen is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
